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I am a deeply (deeply) flawed human bean.

shy, really. and, often socially awkward. It’s not that I could, or should be compared to Howard Hughes, mind you. it’s just that I am always (always) focused. and, driven, of course, with a keen desire to win and prevail – and, with a higher standard.

it sets me apart. and, this can unnerve (most) people.

when I was eleven years old my younger brother, Greg, leveraged a lot of poor judgment and decided to toss some insults at a neighborhood bully named Tony.

I was eleven, Greg was six, and Tony was thirteen.

Tony came from a large (as in both physical stature and head-count) family, that lived up the street, and around the corner from us. for a couple of years I thought his name was actually “Hay Tooney” – you know, like a professional ball player. every time anyone (and, everyone) ever addressed, called for, or was looking at him, they would always (and, loudly) say, “Haay Tooney”!

in any event, he went after Greg. dude did not even hesitate; he was on my little brother like sewage out of the pipe. Greg had his little legs churning up our drive way for all he was worth with a head-start only just good enough that allowed for him to start calling for me. to this day I can’t remember much as I hurled myself out of the TV room, through the garage, and then with ten running steps later, full body into Tony. he already had a piece of fence in his beefy hands that he clearly meant to flail Greg with. instead, he beat me relentlessly with that piece of wood but I kept swinging and pushing. suddenly his resolve melted, possibly with my fury, and then he was on his back with me turning his nose into lasagne.

so… my Mom, the proper Sacramento debutante she was her whole life made me march over to his house the next day and apologize for giving him a beating.

“we are Cork’s. we take the higher road. you’ll understand better as you get older”, is all would say about it.

Tony and his Dad, with a small army behind them, met me at the front door. I extended my hand and simply said, “I apologize”.

…but, I didn’t mean it. not at all. I, in truth, felt like a flat-out liar. I wanted to cry. even howl, maybe.

“okay”, and sullenly, is all he said. his Dad said nothing. he just stared at me with a distant and mildly confused look splayed across his big bland olive-skinned face with a light stubble.

…the high road?

recently, I’ve lost something. and, man, it is, or was, dear to me. but, it’s really gone. and, I feel like it was stolen. now I have people that think I need to take that damn high road again and say things like, “best of luck to you. I offer my fullest support. I know you’ll do great”.

but, my heart isn’t in it. I did my best, and it was really good. the results were evident. now, some how and inexplicably, I’m taking a beating. and, it REALLY hurts. but, I have to go to the people that hurt me and take the high road because it’s, collectively, (maybe) good (maybe) for some of the people I care deeply (deeply) about.

I took a hard run Saturday and I admitted to God (but, He already knew, of course) that I did not want to take the high road. I wanted to be hurt and angry. I wanted to win. prevail. …protect people from the evil that I know is looming.

“come on, God”, said I . you and I both know there won’t be sincerity. and, what about hypocrisy?

I really do want to honor God with my response to this challenge, and the people that I’ve influenced. there’s a broken part of me that’s looking for someone(s) to be mad at. I’d love to exchange that for the patience and grace that He has, and hopefully will continue to show me. but, that’s so hard, right now.

that’s me being authentic.

this is another Kobayashi Maru, isn’t it.

however, as I was cooling down (literally, and miraculously in my heart) I knew that if I just said the words, something like, “it’s okay. I know you all will be great. I support you all”, that would, eventually (eventually) become the reality. it’s what they all expect of me, after all. let’s be very (very) clear. the words would not be sincere. they would ring hollow, in my own ears, in fact.

but, I’ll have said them. and, they might then have a life of their own, and there could be an effect.

my pain is meaningless, really. the people involved mean more to me than, well, me.

so… I wish them all the best (maybe because I want them to be happy and the best they can all be). I’ll have to move on.

…please. please (please), allow them to make me proud. and, remember, there has to be a difference between being pleased and being satisfied.

not because I say so, but because I really mean it.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

I’ve became more than fed-up with certain service providers that, well, don’t.

I always (always) do what I say. And, then some. In fact, I (cliche alert) really do try to perform well beyond my promise. However, with that said, I’ll pause and note, here, that I’m always very careful when I promise anything. And, I certainly choose my words carefully.

The simplest reason why I’m going on about this, today, is the guy that built the previous version of one of my business websites has side-stepped his part of a deal in the form of maintenance. And, in some respects he actually attempted to hold my business website, and it’s content hostage.

I really take it personal when people let me down in any form or fashion.

On the other hand, I’ve decided to “hitch up my drawers” and be part of my own solution. Thusly, I’ve complained, and now have done something positive about the problem.

I’m willing to call this one a victory, of sorts.

So… Here is the result: www.briancorkhumancapital.com. This is not an elegant design. But, it’s unique (enough) and very different from other websites of professionals (less inspired, to be sure) like myself that recruit and coach on the business side of things.  And, the format (blog-oriented) will force my hand in subjecting offering my readers relatable thought leadership because I am, supposedly, a subject-matter-expertise around people in business and best practices.

By all means, add me to your RSS feed.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

Earlier this month I dropped prayer and change squarely upon you. All of you.

Sure enough, those paths are beginning to manifest themselves.

“What paths”, you ask? Read the post. Do it!

But, John Stein is back. Although, in many ways, he likely never left. So is Tim Barker (oddly, Tim does not reference his primary calling on LinkedIN, so I’ll not include a relative link). But, if you consider the Parable of the Talents, his is akin to truth – and, this is apparently why he seeks me out. John is helping me do something different, for me, anyway – part of this on-going blog effort, in fact. And, Tim is finally letting me really help him. So, stay tuned for those stories.

It’s all rather involved, and about being involved.

Johnny Walker is also in my life. That’s because of Vincent Birley (I coached him into his current role at Ron Blue). …And, God, of course. Or, perhaps over the course of matters.

Just to be clear, I’m lifting some material that Johnny recently wrote himself and weaving it into this post. The details are less important than the result. I’ll just do my best to make it work, and lift the credit up to elsewhere.

If you have a Bible in-hand, you know that, evidently, there exist passages of scripture that keep using the word prayer over and over. But, the key is the nuance. Not enough of you know that the New Testament was originally written in the Greek language.  The Greeks had many different words to describe the word “love”, for example. So, it’s relevant to ponder if each time prayer is mentioned that it meant the same thing.

What you will find, if you investigate, or just take my word for it (and, Johnny’s) are eight different Greek words that we can translate into the single word, prayer.

One of the different variations of the word prayer the Bible uses means to beg.  According to Johnny, the Bible actually tells us that there is an appropriate time to beg God for something.

Another word for prayer is meant to wish for something.  The intensity of our prayer in these circumstances is to let God know that it may be something we would like to see happen, but isn’t that important.

Begging as opposed to wishing. A profound nuance, to be certain.

The variation of the word prayer that is most relevant to this post, today, though is  the word that translates, ultimately into intercede or to stand in the gap for.  There is power in that form of the word. It’s meaningful because it’s about amplifying the needs of others with our own voice and passion. So, the Greek word for interceding is “Entuxis”, and is the variation of the word prayer that is used in James 5:15:

And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he has committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

To intercede is like standing between the other person in greatly evident need, and God.  This might actually mean pointing at the person and asking for a thing on their behalf.  It’s really more than requesting and more like petitioning.  Not in terms of flippantly merely signing a petition, but to be that arbiter that keeps on representing on behalf of the victim, until something , meaningful, is accomplished.

Johnny Walker writes:

With God we should never demand, but neither should we only flippantly pray for someone and move on.  We should stand in the gap, fight for them, and seek aid for them.

With that in mind Johnny Walker thinks he needs your help. Indeed, he has been asked to intercede for someone and to pass the prayer request on to others.  To be sure, we all have needs. However, Joey Murray was apparently diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease (ALS) in 1991.  It is a progressive disease that attacks the nerve cells in the central nervous system that control voluntary muscle movement.  Johnny will tell you that he has Joey for about ten years. And, although he suffered from this disease even before they met, Joey’s faith has always been incredibly strong, and something that he has truly admired.

That intrigues me. I’ll add that because Johnny Walker was introduced to me by Vincent Birley, and described as unusual, passionate and talented – and, someone I had to meet. So, I did. Now I coach him. And, I may be the better man for it. Johnny is now an ass-kicking sales professional. But, before today, he has also been a Pastor and a Police Officer,and Counselor.

In any event, Joey will be on a retreat this next week that will focus on intercession and healing.  According to Johnny this is “basically, James 5:15 in action”.  Here is a portion of an e-mail to Johnny from Joey that helps set this stage, further:

I am grateful for the prayers you’ve offered up for my healing of ALS since 1996. I’m thankful to still be alive, but my health has continued to decline. The Bible tells us many times that Jesus came to forgive and heal all, for all time, and that there is much power in the prayers of many that agree. I will be going to a weeklong healing retreat in Thomaston GA.  I am humbly asking for you, your church, and friends to pray this prayer in faith often for me for the next few weeks.”

According to Johnny, the prayer that Joey requests for us to leverage on his behalf is specifically:

Heavenly Father, deliver Joey from all demonic oppression, and restore his body and mind to complete long lasting health, in Jesus name,  Amen.

I encourage you as James the brother of Jesus encouraged us: “Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says!”

I don’t know if what the Bible reads us is true, or the ultimate truth. But, it does inspire us to decisive action- and, in particularly so, this day.

As many of you know, if not really understand, I can’t profess to being a Christian. There are many points around this to be found in this BLOG. I do fear and loathe hypocrisy. But, I’ll strive not to make this effort about me, and more so about letting you know that I do believe it can’t hurt to live your life like Christ. So, I’ll continue my searching. But, I can leverage my own influence. And, you also know that is rather vast and meaningful. So, I went right to my own special forces healer, John Stein, and asked him to intercede.

Verily, I sent John this email message introducing him to Johnny:

Hey Johnny.

I’m on it.

I’m raising the ante by including John Stein in this exchange. John is my friend. And, he is a healer.

John, I’m coaching Johnny. He’s a neat dude. Great story. You’ll love it.  Please see the attachment and get involved.

Brian

And, sure enough, this was John’s immediate response to my plea:

Jesus needs to collect on something He paid for a long time ago. God is moving and will heal this man.

In fact, John swiftly moving into action himself met Joey before that retreat.

More later. But, somehow, much of this is now in our collective hands.

I’ll petition you to intercede for Joey. His wife needs her husband. His children need their father. AND, we probably all need Joey walking this earth with us, as a living, breathing, miracle.

I need a miracle. This is all part of me living the Authentic Life. Lets start with Joey. Let’s dare try. Come on man, let’s rally!

In closing… I had contemplated a dramatic, life-changing, motivational post to send you off, collectively, into the new year. But, I’m finding myself guided by another objective as I prepare to be different myself with the onset of 2011. Will this qualify? I’ll continue to selfishly want to be part of you and amongst you.

Happy New Year.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

rain does not make a lot of sense.

it rarely comes when we need it. and, it’s almost always certain to appear when most inconvenient.

that makes rain rather like surprises.

and, change.

I hate rain. and, naturally, I love rain.

rain is bad. rain is good.

I prefer to run in the rain; a down pour, please.

that might be where pain meets ecstasy.

perhaps rain, like most things, is what we make of it.

so, I’m listening to U2 and Running to Stand Still.

me? I’m running to the light.

peace be to my brothers and sisters.

brian patrick cork

“ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END” – There is an end to everything, to good things as well. The proverb dates back to about 1374 (Chaucer). First attested in the United States around 1680. The word ‘good’ was added much later. ‘Everything has an end’ and ‘Everything comes to an end’ are variants of the proverb.

Also…

In the end, we are undone, perhaps in only our current form through treachery, deceit and selfishness – all qualities that are, ironically, so un-Shockers Nation-like.

As one of our parents so aptly pointed out… Perhaps they, my erstwhile hearty and ferocious Shockers, have become accustomed to the unique experience and take it for granted (this includes parents). Now, they must drink from another cup and make that their comparison.

Will Natural Selection always prevail?

Coach Brian

I don’t know, yet (anyway), if my recent post: prayer and change (everyone is talking about. I’m flattered, just skeptical unsure as to why) upset or inspired Butch (“RW”) Nicholson. But, it certainly initiated, or possibly provoked the following point and question:

“Many people pretend to be Christains? Really? People believe what they believe, including you. I am interested in what you have to say. I am not interested in what you think others pretend to be. I would submit we all pretend most of the time. What do you pretend?”

I’m now pondering precisely why, but the question made me recall another of my posts: drink heartily from the cornucopia of fear.

This is an exercise in assigning words that might read pretty to a feeling that is ugly. To recognize what we don’t like, so that it can be replaced with what we want or dare hope for.

And, also, the widely read and certainly debated: Christian Ambiguity.

There is nothing worse than a Christian on the defensive. They become less tolerant and more judgmental when they get insecure.

And, somehow, from the dark reaches of my own mind, there emerged a response to Butch’s query:

“well… there is always the implied contention that the demonstrable inadequacy of any argument from analogy for the existence of other minds is sufficient to reject introspection as a method of determining one’s own mental state(s). there is always the position in the repudiation of an argument from analogy, but disagrees with knowledge of one’s own mental state(s) does not require introspection

so… relative to my blog post, I simply don’t pretend to have an answer like – for example – people with fish (symbols) on their cars. I only believe (in the context of this rapartee)  that prayer can help anyone answer most questions as it aligns mind, body and spirit with most circumstances.”

I strive, and daily, to live the authentic life. I may fear hypocrisy, but I pretend little (other than, perhaps the pretense of no fear, itself).

This is a line-of-thinking that may have no end. But, you can’t lose for the attempt and effort – although there may well be no clear win. That is, until you fade to black, or see the light, in a manner of speaking.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

Do a happiness audit.  Do it!

Write down a list of all the things that you do during the course of a week and put them in categories according to the level of Joy they cause in your life.

That, I suspect (well, actually know), will make you part of the solution.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

what’s all this about?

I can’t explain what that damn tree means - or, if it might stand for something.

However, here I do discuss events, people and things in our world - and, my (hardly simplistic, albeit inarticulate) views around them.

So, while I harangue the public in my not so gentle way, you will discover that I am fascinated by all things arcane, curious about those whom appear religious, love music, dabble in politics, loathe the media, value education, still think I am an athlete, and might offer a recipe.

All the while, striving mightily, and daily, to remain a prudent and optimistic gentleman.

brian cork by John Campbell

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"Perhaps victory can be realized best when the heart changes."

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I'll warn you now that Tarski is theme of this blog created by Benedict Eastaugh and Chris Sternal-Johnson. It is named for the logician Alfred Tarski. I'll recommend his papers ‘The Concept of Truth in Formalized Languages’ and ‘On the Concept of Logical Consequence’, both of which can be found in the collection Logic, Semantics, Metamathematics.