If you’ve followed this Blog, or are my friend (and, sometimes it’s hard to do both), you know that my earthly father took his own life back in 1986 – most likely because he was heart-broken over the loss of my mother. If you’re so inclined, you can indulge yourself and learn a bit more about that by reading: My Dad: Story 22 – Married For Life.
That tragic reality is relevant to this current post for two reasons relative to myself, although it may well be relevant to you for more, other, or no cause or effect. One reason for me is that I can, or could, relate to my Dad’s mourning of Mom. I could never abide a life without Joanne in it. And, apples come from trees, as it were.
I don’t discuss it, broadly, but Dad might have been manic depressive, as well. I doubt I’m afflicted with such a curse. I’m generally much too optimistic for such things. In fact, my recent post: optimism is apparently quite popular with you, collectively. It’s hard and cruel to label people. And, probably unwise to attempt uncertain diagnosis. But, Dad was clearly head-and-shoulders above the crowd when it came to intelligence, drive, ambition, and a capacity to love while also being mean (but, like a lot of high-ranking Air Force Officers of his era, he drank a lot as well). And, that appears to be part of the profile. To be sure, the branches of my family tree (we seem to lead by many examples, with more good than bad) certainly have their own demons.
Me? I’m open-minded, pun intended.
So, that might be my lot. Maybe not. And, I don’t mean to over-analyze. I wonder if one can be a hypocondriac when it comes to mental illness? Or, is that paranoia? I’m trying to be light-hearted. But, God help me with both the journey and discovery.
One of the ironies, here, in this line-of-thinking, might include: if you have a form of mental illness, how could you, or would you know? Also, would you care? Or, if you did, would you be inclined or inhibited to take positive action? If conscience is involved, how would that be separated from “voices”?
But, I also have scienter. You see that term referenced on this Blog, fairly often. I think it’s part of living an authentic life (yes, another recurring theme), and being accountable and responsible. But, that torch brings with it a burden, of sorts. Just because there might be the potential for mental illness, or any problem (it took me ten minutes to ponder the word problem because I detest it, and strive to avoid using it. however, it’s apropos), for that matter, this doesn’t mean we can use it as an excuse – and therefore can’t be absolved of accountability. Thusly, It’s my position that if we know there might be a problem, we have to be willing to account for it and seek ways to overcome that challenge. Furthermore, if we’re to think such a burden exists, then I’m confident I have to realize extremes, if required, to compensate for it, for the betterment of others.
So, and ironically, this test might qualify as a form of super powers that must be used for good. Or, I’m just being delusional. But, I mean well.
Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.
Brian Patrick Cork