We have a hot-wire from the Associated Press…

Apparently, the masses (or that unruly mob of PC lovers – and, Android [read jealous]) are reacting like a bunch of mean-spirited high school cheerleaders over a decision by Consumer Reports against endorsing the latest iPhone because of reception problems that threatens to tarnish Apple Inc.’s reputation. However, the same report failed to mention that Apple fans who have braved poor reception (depends where you are standing – literally) for years are likely to keep buying the product, because it’s still one of the best made pieces of technology available to, well, the masses.

So… If you have followed some of this and other related nonsense pervading the internet about how Apple is soon to be on it’s knees over reliability issues related to it’s new iPhone 4 and it’s antennae, consider the following…

I’ve established through rigorous scientific testing that rotating a Consumer Reports magazine sideways drastically reduces the readability of the articles. In my view, this obvious design flaw is the responsibility of Consumer Reports to fix. The consumer has a right to expect that when a reading-oriented device (form of media) is rotated that the text will shift orientation to remain readable to the viewer. Due to this potentially catastrophic oversight in design, if not judgment, I cannot recommend Consumer Reports at this time. We are recommending that Consumer Reports recall all of its magazines, or republish them so that they can be read without the fear of digesting poorly conceived data, regardless of how the consumer holds it.

Consumer Reports was miffed because, evidently, as of Tuesday evening, Apple hadn’t returned phone calls or e-mails about the Consumer Reports critique, which the (erstwhile) venerable arbiter of product quality posted on its website Monday. While some Apple watchers find the company’s responses to the reception issue objectionable (picture Steve Jobs pointing to his butt), they don’t see any penalties for Apple if it does nothing further.

The fact is, reason-minded analysts are more likely to say that Apple could simply ignore calls by bloggers and others to recall the iPhone 4 or offer free cases to mitigate the problems. Or, scotch tape. That works as well.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

Advertisements