On September 17, 1994, Darwin’s theories were further tested when the “Yellow Hammer” State’s (Alabama) Heather Whitestone was selected Miss America for 1995.

In order to make one of my points, here, I’ll submit the following:

Judges question :“If you could live forever, would you and why?”

alabama brain trust 1995Whitestone’s Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.”


We have not yet confirmed if the hapless Miss Whitestone might be related to the infamous Betty “pickles” Merlotte, a former Miss Kentucky (read more about here: bovine Predators).

This raises serious, possibly grim, questions around how intelligently, if not thoughtfully, contestants from other states answer similar questions.

Or, is this simply an ingenious way to herd the poor cows into one area for easier identification and tagging?

We’ll suggest that for these light bulb deficient lassies NASCAR might qualify as a religion while mistakenly assuming Formula One is a complexion cream.

Raise our daughters, otherwise. Enforce the Laws of Natural Selection.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork