You might not swallow this yarn… But, I gotta tell it nonetheless.
I will swear every word is true.
Float plane drops me near the North shore of Great Bear Lake. Not another human bean for hundreds of miles. Just me and some bears, weasels, moose and mosquitos – big as humming birds…
My first line goes in the water, and I’m trolling with a spoon when YANK!… something pulls my $900 rod, 200 feet of 150-pound test, and my brand-new reel right out of my hands and into the drink.
Takes a couple of fingers along with it.
…Well, I’m not gonna give up that easy. So, I throw caution to the wind and dive right in with my Victorinox Angler in my teeth… About 100 feet down it’s plenty dark, but this fish is so HUGE I can’t miss it… The beast swims by and I poke it with the angler’s corkscrew just to, you know, get it’s attention… So, it comes after me and now we’re fighting in the water like wolverines rasslin’ a grizzly for a sack of jerky. It takes three, maybe four hours, but by the time the sun sets I’ve got this monster in the boat, and I’m using the hook disgorger and getting ready to apply the scaler when I notice something caught in it’s throat… An unopened Modelo Especial! So, I pull out the pliers, yank the brewski – by God, it’s ice cold, like the lake water – and, pry it open with the bottle opener. I’m sitting back sippin’ suds when the fish suddenly comes to life and heaves itself right out of the boat!
I’d have gone after it, but I had to finish my beer as I was toasting my girl…
Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters
Brian Patrick Cork