lance is a Yellow basterd

The last time I spoke with Lance Armstrong he was fit and ready for the Tour de France.

His only concern was the fall he had taken back in March while racing in Spain. And, this mostly because falls haunt riders for a long time, and create tension in the body.

In any event, today finds Lance and his Astana team comfortably in contention for the overall lead in France.

Armstrong is second overall, just a fraction of a second behind leader Fabian Cancellara of Switzerland, and nearly all his rivals are lagging far behind except for teammate Alberto Contador of Spain, who is just 19 seconds back and is regarded as the best climber in the world.

Today through Monday they are in those treacherous mountains that will break many a riders spirit – if not their bodies. For me, this is where the sport of cycling realizes it’s greatest champions.

I have this feeling; call it 85%, that Lance is going to show the world what an incredible champion he is by helping Contador win the Tour. The other 15% says that Lance and Contador help one another going into the next to last stage where they fight it out man-to-man for the yellow jersey.

The brilliance of this is Lance Armstrong wins either way.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

beneath the Robe

As Thomas Jefferson and that hardy and ferocious crew of Founding Fathers set the stage, I am confident they never meant for our emerging judicial system to be used as a blunt-edged weapon.

All too often we see people abuse the law, or the way it’s levied, in much too crude a fashion.

So, I suppose, considering the ominous circumstances, the fellow I am preparing to take to task won’t like my linking to an article about him, but that’s just tough. I have no tolerance for morons people like this, and even less so when they happen to be judges, and are supposed to know better.

If he takes offense to my umbrage he can fight me (preferably behind a courthouse).

In any event… This Richard Posner, a stolidly conservative judge, wants to ban hyperlinks – e.g., those found on Blogs and even on many newspaper websites (but, obviously I am more concerned about Blogs).

“Those who wish to keep the internet free and open had best dust off their legal arguments. One of America’s most influential conservative judges, Richard Posner, has proposed a ban on linking to online content without permission. The idea, he said in a blog post last week, is to prevent aggregators and bloggers from linking to newspaper websites without paying.”

Hah! I just used a hyperlink to help exhibit my very point! Judge that Posner.

That may already sound rather bad, but now read what Posner writes in his original piece (and, yes, I will link to, and quote from it):

Expanding copyright law to bar online access to copyrighted materials without the copyright holder’s consent, or to bar linking to or paraphrasing copyrighted materials without the copyright holder’s consent, might be necessary to keep free riding on content financed by online newspapers from so impairing the incentive to create costly news-gathering operations that news services like Reuters and the Associated Press would become the only professional, nongovernmental sources of news and opinion.

Let’s see what’s wrong with this nonsense theory.

Posner thinks we should ban hyperlinks to free content in order to …keep it free.

This is flat-out silly and impractical. I can see, for example, that newspapers might seek to ban news aggregators like Google News, because they are competitors. But every link a newspaper site receives, such as from a blogger who graciously links to a story on the newspaper’s website, should be celebrated. Contrary to Posner’s one-sided ignorant ill-researched (sigh) shallow thinking, perhaps bloggers should get a commission or share of the profits for driving eyeballs to the newspaper website. In some cases, I suspect a substantial portion of newspapers’ site traffic is derived from bloggers today.

While he at it, Posner thinking paraphrasing should be banned as well.

That would put an end to the entire newspaper racket right there. Most news reports in newspapers are a series of direct quotes and paraphrased quotes in indirect speech. If paraphrasing were banned too, it would leave a lot of empty space on newspaper pages. Newspapers themselves would be reduced to single-page editions.

Note: We have to assume the integrity of the media. This is, of course, problematic for me because, as consistent readers of this Blog are fully aware, I am deeply suspicious of the media, in general, and their collective agenda.

We shouldn’t forget in this context that any non-opinion, non-editorial pieces in newspapers are factual accounts of current events (at least in theory). Which means that the entire story, say, about the latest ethnic clashes in China, has to be  - by definition  a paraphrase from beginning to end.

Leveraging his years on the bottle bench and highly questionable greatly evident grasp of the law, as it pertains to intellectual property, Posner says linking to content is, and should be, a copyright violation.

Don’t judges have to take a test before they put on a robe? This really is nonsense, and would never stand up in a court of law. There is no precedent or case study to support this position (and, why doesn’t Posner understand this?). No lawyer, unless they chase ambulances (or, unless the presiding judge is a moron too) would consider filing a motion or brief trying to initiate such thinking. If linking to copyrighted material were illegal, then what about all the pages and longs lists of bibliography and references in, standard scientific papers? The very existence of such a list of “links” to names of authors, titles of books or papers, etc. would, in Posner’s view, be a major felony – as would be any quote from or paraphrasing of any of the titles thus referenced.

All my ranting aside (which, for me is most of the fun), I am reservedly confident this scheme idea will never fly. Apart from being uninspired and certainly unfair, it also feels like an underhanded attempt to silence citizen journalists and, thus, ultimately, an affront to people’s right of free speech – and, thus unconstitutional.

I will be very curious to see if any news writers pick up on this. Or, maybe Posner gets relegated to Night Court.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

If your babies starve, jesus will forgive them

So…

I am told that during a recent visit to the teeming slums of São Paulo Monday, Cardinal Anthony Selfgratifica warned the city’s starving masses against the evils of contraception, and urging them to “be fruitful and multiply” and do “everything in [their] power” in order to best resist the mortal sin of birth control.

“In Genesis, God commands us to be fruitful and multiply, to fill the Earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish and birds and every other living thing,” said Selfgratifica, speaking before more than two hundred thousand malnourished São Paulo slum dwellers. “It is not for man to decide whether the world should have more babies than it can reasonably support. God will decide whose seed shall find purchase and when.”

The gathering, which took place on a muddy hillside crowded with tin-and-tarpaper shacks, was one of many to take place around the world this past Monday – a day Pope Benedict XVI had declared World Childbirth Day.

“No wonder we are plagued by disease and high infant mortality,” said São Paulo father of eight Oranjinho Cruz, speaking from his dilapidated one-room home, which lacks electricity or potable water. “God has been punishing us for trying to prevent the miraculous gift of conception.”

Elsewhere, in Calcutta, a city where fifty three percent of residents are under eighteen, Catholic missionaries, led by Father Sidney Simpleton delivered a similar message of love and procreation.

“In this life, there is a right path and a wrong path, and which you take is entirely up to you,” said missionary Christopher Halloran, addressing a group of four thousand five humdred villagers crammed into a schoolhouse. “Will you deny God’s wisdom by using condoms, or will you shine in the divine light of unprotected sex? The choice is clear.”

“God does not want you to choke the rivers of fertile bounty with immoral birth-control pills,” continued Halloran, framed by a backdrop of brown, withered crops and skeletal, half-living farm animals. “He wants you to continue expanding your families. If your babies starve, Jesus will forgive them.”

The words of Simpleton and his fellow missionaries have struck a chord with the impoverished masses of the world.

“We were told we should not use condoms to prevent the spread of HIV,” said Rodrigo Ortiza of Bogotá, Colombia. “The man from the Church assured us that the Lord will protect us from disease, provided we are true to His wish that we produce more children than we can possibly care for.“

Added Ortiz: “Life in this shantytown is difficult, but our troubles are nothing compared to what we will face in the Lake Of Fire if we try to live within our means and regulate the number of offspring we produce, as Satan teaches.”

Though critics have called the Catholic Church’s anti-contraception campaign irresponsible and dangerous, particularly in regions where food and medical facilities are scarce, the missionaries remain steadfast in their commitment to fighting the spread of birth control.

“No man-made organization knows God’s will,” said Atlanta-born missionary Neel N. Boba, 24, (a past altar boy for Selfgratifica) handing out Bibles (donated by the Church of the Bountiful Harvest of the Nazarene in Atlanta) to polio-stricken children in Dhaka, Bangladesh. “These Bibles only cost $7.00 each! That could feed these children and their families for an entire month. But, now they can dine on the fruit of the Lord daily. His ways are mysterious and noble. All we can do is interpret His words as they appear in the Good Book. And those words clearly state that we have an obligation to shun effective methods of population control.”

Responding to critics, Cardinal Selfgratifica (who appears quite important in his hat) said, with a shrug, the Catholic Church is not oblivious to the plight of the impoverished, noting with apparent grim satisfaction that it offers a sanctioned way to postpone the inevitable fruit of God’s will.

“For those who want to practice God’s natural birth control, there are two options,” Bevilacqua said. “You can try abstinence or, if you are married, you can try natural family planning, also known as the rhythm method. This has proven up to eighty seven percent effective, which is more than suitable for maintaining a reasonable household. So long as no seed is spilled, God will not immediately strike you down.”

Selfgratifica also noted that, in cases in which natural family planning fails, unwanted children can be sent to Catholic orphanages, where they will be cared for and groomed to spread word of the punishment awaiting those who impede God’s grand biological destiny.

Let’s have a sense of humor, shall we? w\We are only talking about the weak, misguided and ignorant of the world.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

here is a tip for you

If you ask most people how, why or when they think the practice of “tipping” (not relevant to cows unless you are eating them) originated, you may get a lot of different answers (assuming the responder cares).

Generally speaking, this article on Yahoo! covers the majority of theories.

But, it’s wrong (the article – not tipping).

David Sugarman (my Jewish business mentor from Los Angeles who once told me: “Brian, you could sell used cars to Ford”) once filled me in on the historical facts around tipping. Interestingly, that collaborated what my Grandad had told me. Then later, Aubrey Nelson, that biographer and skalawag, came up with a similar theory.

So, it’s true.

David Sugarman was always right (remind me to tell you the story about David, his sail boat, me, and the art of selling – and, listening).

To wit…

Tipping, as we know it, originated in New York around the turn of the century when leading Wall-Street Barons would reward good service with a tip – a few dollars and advice on a specific stock to buy.

The lucky waiter would then rush down to Wall Street, hand a trader his money, and “bet” on the stock. The best results were realized when the waiter also let the trader know whom had given them the tip.

This was also a foundation for insider information and trading.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

sarah palin and a Quickie

A quick note here as I ponder the future of the Republican party in this country.

Sarah Palin has something of a role in-and-amongst all of this.

Her recent press conference recently at her home in Wasilla, Alaska, after her abrupt announcement she will be leaving the Governors office fifteen months early has shed no light on too many questions whatsoever. In fact, Americans now know less than before. Her “speech” has been called (okay – it will, ultimately, be referred to as) one of the worst in recent political history.

Worse, she is now a quitter. Even if she has some muddy idea this means she will have time to prepare to run for the Presidency in 2012 (coincidentally about the time the world is going to end).

In any event, instead of explaining herself, she presented a chain of mangled and dangling non-sequitur metaphors and empty platitudes. She might just as well have recited a poem or sung a song; the impact would have been the very same. Given current events, she could have kept silent and simply performed a moonwalk à la Michael Jackson – ironically and sadly, this would have been more effective than her actual speech (and, it might make her seem hip because everyone is currently on the MJ bandwagon).

This isn’t looking very good for the Republicans. It’s downright grim.

If I were a Democrat, I might be pleased. But, no, I am only a patriot that is generally concerned. We might actually be facing a prolonged tour of duty with the “Obamacrats”.

More later. This might even be important, in the general scheme of things.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork